Shelter Me
by lahmrh
Summary: K/S. When a mission for the Enterprise-A leaves them stranded on a freezing planet, Kirk and Spock remember how a similar situation years ago ended up changing their relationship forever.


Author's Note: Written for amiss in the happy_trekmas exchange. The first part takes place around 2288, the "memory" around 2273.

**Shelter Me**

Kirk stares up at the clear, starry sky, and tries not to shiver.

He beamed down with a landing party a few hours ago to check out the planet in hopes of one day forming a colony. Everything went fine, almost surprisingly well in fact, right up until the point they were supposed to beam back to the ship, when everything abruptly went to hell.

According to Scotty, there's some kind of disturbance from the planet's sun that is interfering with the transporters. That's actually the least of what it's doing, and Kirk has ordered him to take the Enterprise out of orbit until whatever it is has stopped. The downside of that is that he and the rest of the landing party are now stranded on the planet's surface, and he has no idea when they'll be rescued.

The planet was cold, but bearable, when they beamed down a few hours ago, but now that it's gone dark the temperature is dropping steadily. Their only saving grace is a cave they've found, close to their beam-down point. It's only a fraction warmer than the air outside, but it's better than nothing.

Kirk drags his gaze away from the stars and picks up another armful of wood. Step one of their plan to survive until the ship returns is starting a fire. Thankfully there's no shortage of wood. He feels Spock fall into step with him as he heads back towards the cave, and manages a brief smile. "You know," he says, "I never thought I'd say this, but I think I'm getting too old for this kind of thing."

"You will never be too old," Spock replies immediately.

"That's easy for you to say," Kirk shoots back, but the words warm him just a little. He moves closer and lets his arm brush against Spock's as they walk, taking comfort from the closeness.

He enters the cave a few minutes later to find that Commander Barnes and Lieutenant Stevenson have managed to get a fire going. Kirk dumps his armful of wood next to the fire and spends a few moments warming his hands on it before wandering over to where Lieutenant Harris is busy organising their meagre supplies.

The Enterprise managed to send them down a few things before they left orbit, but looking at them now, Kirk can only feel glad that they didn't try to beam the landing party up. Only about half the items made it down unscathed, the rest morphing into bizarre misshapen monstrosities that would not look out of place in a modern art exhibit.

Harris looks up as he approaches. "I'm afraid we don't have much, sir," she says. "A little food, some medical supplies, and three blankets. The rest are unusable."

"Looks like we'll have to share," Kirk says. He gives her a comforting smile. "Good work, Lieutenant."

She nods, then ducks her head and begins rationing out the food. Kirk takes a blanket and heads back to where Spock is sitting by the fire.

"There aren't enough blankets, so we'll have to share," he says, then lowers his voice, unable to keep from teasing Spock. "I know, I know, it's a terrible inconvenience, being so close to me and all, but you'll just have to bear it."

"I shall do my best," Spock deadpans.

Kirk drapes the blanket around Spock carefully, making sure the delicate pointed ears are safely covered, then huddles in close and wraps the rest of the blanket around himself. Spock hasn't complained about the cold, but this close Kirk can feel him shivering. Under cover of the blanket he takes Spock's cold hands in his, and begins to rub them warm.

Spock leans more heavily against him, his breathing becoming ever so slightly erratic. "Jim, please…" he murmurs.

"I'm just trying to get you warm," Kirk replies.

_You will do more than warm me if you continue_, Spock replies silently. _And this is _hardly _the time._

Kirk smiles. _I take it you don't remember our _first_ time?_ he asks, then sends a particularly explicit image across the bond just in case Spock has forgotten.

_Of course_, Spock replies, the words laced with indignation. _But during that adventure we did not have three other crewmembers watching our every move._

That's true. That time it was just the two of them. Good thing, too, considering how it ended.

* * *

15 years earlier...

It starts out as a fairly routine mission; captain and first officer of the Enterprise to attend the betrothal of the Rigellian Lord's youngest son. Everything goes well, the Rigellians seem pleased, and send them off with good wishes and invitations to come back whenever they like.

It may be a routine – even slightly boring – mission, but the part of Kirk that chafes at diplomatic duties is easily subdued by the part of him rejoicing in once again working with Spock. After three long years the best team in Starfleet is finally back together, and, better yet, Spock seems as happy about it as he is.

As they make their way back to the Enterprise, Kirk is basking in the feeling of a job well done, his thoughts unusually bright and cheerful right up until the point where the power in the shuttle flickers and goes out just as they're passing over a mountain range.

"What's happening?" Kirk asks, fear rising in his stomach as he battles with controls that are suddenly unresponsive.

Beside him, Spock frowns at the control panel. "I am unsure. It was working perfectly just a moment ago." He abruptly bends down and begins prising a panel off the floor. Within a few seconds he is in and fiddling with the wires inside the panel.

They clear the mountain range, just, but they're still falling. "Whatever you're doing, do it fast!" Kirk tells him.

Spock makes a final motion and the control panel lights up. Including about 90 percent of the warning lights. "You should have partial control," Spock says. "It was all I could manage in the time."

"Well, let's hope it's enough to land this thing," Kirk replies. "Hold on..."

The shuttle touches down, and with a bounce, a skid, and a crunch, slides to a halt. Kirk spends a few seconds after they stop moving reassuring himself that both he and Spock are still in one piece, then gives Spock a rueful smile. "Well, they say any landing you can walk away from is a good one," he says. "Let's go check out the damage."

They might be relatively undamaged, but the shuttle was not so lucky. There's a huge dent in one side, and the engines are clearly unsalvageable. "It appears this would not qualify as a "great" landing," Spock observes.

Kirk smiles. He wouldn't have expected Spock to be aware of the old saying, but he's grown used to the Vulcan surprising him. "Can we contact the ship?" he asks.

"Unlikely. Even without the damage to the shuttle the interference would make it almost impossible." The same interference that required them to take the shuttle down in the first place, instead of using the transporters.

"Good thing they're expecting us," Kirk says. "It won't be long before they realise we're missing and send out a search party."

"It is a rather large planet," Spock says mildly.

"Yes, but we have the best crew in Starfleet. Besides, they know our approximate trajectory. I give it a day, max, before they find us."

It's fairly cold just standing around, so they head back inside. Kirk picks up one of the tricorders, then pulls on his thermal jacket and prepares to head out again. "Try to contact the ship," he says. "I'm going to go look around."

"What do you intend to find?" Spock asks.

Kirk shrugs. "Food, hopefully. I'm hungry."

"We have food," Spock says, frowning.

"No, we have emergency rations," Kirk counters. "They don't qualify." With that he heads out.

It doesn't take him long to find something; there is a river nearby surrounded by trees growing some kind of nut. The tricorder informs him that they're safe to eat, so he decides to sample a few.

The nuts are not exactly high cuisine, but they're still a lot better than emergency rations. Kirk is filling his pockets, feeling a little smug as he imagines Spock's reaction to his find, when he feels something wrap around his left ankle. A second later the nuts go flying as whatever it is pulls him off his feet and begins dragging him in the direction of the river.

"Aargh!" he yells, trying to wriggle free. "Help!" He glances down his body and sees what looks like a tentacle attached to his ankle. The tentacle's owner is mostly covered by the water, but what little he can see doesn't exactly raise his spirits. It's large and black and bulbous, and he gets the distinct impression that it isn't in the mood to be reasoned with.

Kirk digs his fingers into the dirt, but it doesn't slow his progress even a little. He enters the river a second later and has time for one last shout of, "Spock!" before he's dragged underwater.

The water in the river is barely above freezing, and Kirk feels real fear as it closes over his head. It isn't fair, he can't die now, not when he and Spock have only just found each other again. _Oh, Spock, I'm sorry._

There is a commotion above the water and the tentacle's grip on his ankle suddenly eases. Kirk immediately pushes upwards, taking in huge gulps of oxygen as he breaks the surface. Something grabs his arm and he struggles against it until he realises it's Spock. At that point he stops fighting and allows himself to be dragged onto the river bank.

He is shivering all over by the time they are fully out of the water and it takes real effort to concentrate on Spock's words.

"Are you all right?" Spock asks.

Kirk nods, ignoring the throbbing in his ankle. "Yes, I think so." His words are belied a second later when he tries to stand and the pain in his leg spikes, forcing him to sit down again. "What was that thing?" he asks, trying to ignore Spock's look of concern.

"Native creature, similar to an octopus," Spock replies. "I believe I scared it off, but we need to return to the shuttle. You are injured and in danger of becoming hypothermic."

"I'm fine," Kirk says, but deep down he knows that Spock's right. The water was cold, but the air is colder. If he doesn't get warm soon, he's going to be in real trouble. He wraps his arms around himself, fighting the urge to just go to sleep right where he is, and blinks when he is suddenly swept up into Spock's arms. "What are you doing?"

"You cannot walk, therefore it is logical that I carry you," Spock replies as he begins jogging in the direction of the shuttle.

Kirk's pride makes him want to argue, but he's freezing and exhausted and not really in the mood for a debate. And if he's honest, part of him likes being held like this. It makes him feel protected. Loved.

He must doze off briefly after that, because the next thing he knows he's being dumped on a bed in the back of the shuttle and Spock is pulling off his clothes. Normally Kirk would be right on board with this turn of events, but right now all he can do is sit there blankly and let Spock undress him.

Once Spock has stripped him of his wet clothing, he wraps Kirk in a blanket, then runs a tricorder over his now quite badly swollen ankle. "Not broken," Spock reports. "But I suggest you rest it as much as possible until help arrives." He selects a hypospray from their limited medical supplies and presses it to Kirk's arm. "This should help with the pain."

That done, Spock sets the tricorder aside and begins pulling off his own damp clothing. Kirk curls himself further into the blankets and closes his eyes, noting absently that he must be pretty far gone if even the sight of Spock stripping can't hold his interest.

He knows the standard treatment for hypothermia, but it still manages to come as a surprise when the blankets lift and Spock slides in next to him. Kirk can't help but be reminded of a few rather interesting dreams he's had in the past as he feels Spock curl around him, one arm wrapping across Kirk's chest to pull him closer.

"This is just my luck," Kirk mumbles tiredly. "I finally get you into bed with me, and I'm too sick to do anything about it."

He doesn't mean to say it, but the combination of painkillers and exhaustion is enough to override his usual mental filters.

There is silence for a long moment, before Spock says quietly, "Try to rest, Jim."

Kirk does.

x x x

He wakes up some time later to warmth and the realisation that sometime during his sleep he has shifted so that he is sleeping more on Spock than on the bed. He raises his head and finds the Vulcan in question watching him with an unusually open expression.

"You are awake," Spock says. "How do you feel?"

"Better," Kirk says. He stretches, pulling away from Spock, and winces as his ankle twinges. "Ankle hurts a bit."

"Do you require more pain relief?" Spock asks.

Kirk shakes his head. "I'll be fine," he says, already becoming aware of a different problem. It hasn't escaped his notice that he is currently in bed with a warm, attractive, and practically naked Vulcan, and certain parts of his anatomy are rapidly taking an interest.

"I find myself contemplating something you said earlier," Spock says, as Kirk tries to edge away from him without raising suspicion.

"Oh?" Kirk says. "What was that?"

"I believe it was something to the effect of wanting to get me into bed with you," Spock says, and Kirk freezes.

"Well, I was ill," he tries, as it all comes flooding back. "I'm sure I said a lot of strange things. You shouldn't take it seriously."

But even as he speaks he knows that Spock isn't just going to let this go. The thought sets his heart pounding, nausea curling in his stomach, and he sits up and begins looking around for his clothes, struck with the need to get out, get away.

He tenses as Spock's fingers close around his wrist. _Don't_, he thinks savagely. _Don't say you're sorry. Don't tell me it isn't "logical"._

_Don't leave me._

"Jim," Spock says softly. "Look at me."

Kirk looks up.

"I will never leave you," Spock says, and Kirk flushes at the knowledge that Spock overheard what he was thinking. Spock's fingers slip down until he is holding Kirk's hand. "You are not the only one who desires… intimacy between us."

Warmth spreads through Kirk's chest. "You…?" He trails off and starts again. "Since when?"

"Since V'Ger," Spock replies.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I did not know how." Spock looks down at their clasped hands. "I have no experience with such matters. I knew what I wanted, but acting on it was a different story. The best I could do was leave myself open and hope that you would make the first move." He glances up at Kirk as if looking for his reaction.

Kirk shakes his head. "Meanwhile I was busy hoping you'd make the first move so I'd know it was what you truly wanted." He squeezes Spock's hand, giving a huff of laughter. "What a pair, huh?"

Spock smiles with his eyes. "Indeed."

He shuffles closer and slowly, gently, presses his lips against Kirk's. Kirk wraps his arms around Spock and deepens the kiss. It quickly becomes obvious that he is not the only one affected by their proximity, and Kirk smiles. "Do you want...?" he asks, letting his hand slip lower, and is answered with an enthusiastic nod.

Things progress quickly after that.

Afterwards, Kirk wraps his arms around Spock and curls against him contentedly. "To think we could have been doing this for months," he says. "For smart men we can be pretty stupid sometimes."

"Indeed," Spock says, hands wandering over Kirk's body. "I believe we have some catching up to do."

They spend the one-and-a-half days until the Enterprise finally locates them enthusiastically making up for lost time, and for at least a week afterwards Kirk finds himself wandering around with a near-permanent grin.

* * *

15 years later...

_I believe Doctor McCoy was on the verge of scheduling a psychiatric evaluation before he learned the reason for your behaviour_, Spock remembers fondly.

_That's right_, Kirk agrees. _He didn't understand how I could be so happy about a milk run mission to Andoria. _He holds back a laugh, not wanting to draw attention from the rest of the landing party._ I remember he was so relieved when he learned the truth that he nearly forgot to congratulate us._

He presses closer to Spock, running his thumb over the back of one hand. _Fifteen years on and I still love you just as much as I did back then._

Spock's expression softens incrementally, his love and affection flowing through the bond. _And I you._

Kirk smiles. They've been through a lot these past fifteen years; good times and bad times, promotions and demotions, love and loss, death and rebirth. Being stuck on a frozen planet is hardly ideal, but at least they're together. He learned a long time ago that as long as they're together they can conquer anything.

He wraps the blanket tighter around them and waits for the Enterprise to return.


End file.
